so weird...

Okay, so if you haven't already seen on my facebook, yes I am dating someone. It'a been FOREVER since i've actually had a legit relationship and i'm freaking out in a good and bad way. 

  I really haven't had the best of luck out here with guys, actually just in general. I've always been screwed over. It made me numb to the way I felt toward people. Especially guys. It made it hard for me to trust them. I started to just think that all guys were like that. I gave up. Yeah I guess I sorta became a player out here after the first two guys screwed me over. But it got old super fast, and I couldn't bare thinking about what would happen if the guys found out. I hate hurting people, and it would absolutely kill me, so I stopped. 

    But I've never really been one to show my feelings. I don't usually like showing people that i'm sad/mad or whatever. I guess that's just how i've always been. It's so hard for me to adjust to this relationship thing. It's just weird saying the word "boyfriend". 

  At first I was a little hesitant when I saw that things were getting more serious. I started to chicken out a little. For me, the relationship sounded good, but as soon as it starting happening it freaked me out. I think because with other guys I always thought that I would end up dating them but in the end it never happened. So when this relationship actually became official it came as a shock to me, and sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the fact that I actually am in a relationship. 

  Don't get me wrong I do like him and I like having a boyfriend and all, it's just weird for me to adjust to. I'm slowly getting the hang of it, and so far so good! He is an awesome guy and I like that I can be myself around him and he just likes me for me. ( Not that I would ever change for anyone....ever.) We always have fun together, and he takes my sarcasm, beating him up, and I can even me being a brat sometimes. haha 

 Anyways, that's that. This week is finally over! I'm super tired, school is stressing me out like none other. I just wanna sleep forever and not wake up. But we all know that's not going to happen. Anyways one more class and i'm free for the weekend! 

 Day 11: Favorite TV shows

  - Modern Family

  - Pretty LIttle liars

  - Vampire Diaries

  - Criminal Minds

  - Law & Order

  - CSI