ugh :/

 You know how there is just that one maybe little mistake you've made in your past, that no matter what you do, it is always there to haunt you. Yeah well, mine always comes back when i'm starting to be happy. I don't know what it is, but it screws everything up, every single time.
 It's like I can't be happy with certain things, and it literally happens every single time. Idk why, but I wish it would stop. Maybe that's the reason I screw things up with people all the time. I've never been good with certain things, and this doesn't help. But it's my fault because it was a mistake I made, and there is nothing I can do about it now, but just try and push through it no matter how hard it may be.
  The mistake I made was because I didn't wanna hurt anymore, I was numb to everything, and I still am. ( btw i'm NOT having sex, doing drugs, drinking, or anything of that nature, it's a psychological problem? maybe? idk how you would describe it...and no i'm not going crazy either....) But I am numb to certain things because of crap that has happened in my past. But like I said, i'm slowly pushing forward, trying to shake that feeling. I'm slowly getting better, but as long as i'm taking baby steps, it's progress and at this point, i'm happy with that.

  Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

The beach is my happy place...I miss it more than words can describe. ( this is the island we drive our boat out to :) cant wait to go home and go to it)